Song for today (By the Beatles)

When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,
there will be an answer. let it be.

Let it be, let it be, .....

And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me,
shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, .....

Sigh

Eight days since I got this awful illness and after two painful therapy sessions, a major improvement has yet to be seen.

I'm trying to be very patient and relaxed about this but I can't help but get jittery. Ironically, I must avoid stress (anger management, anyone?) but the whole thing is just too stressful, not to mention painful, for me.

Bell's really gave me the blow not just physically but psychologically and emotionally. Do you know how it feels to look in the mirror and see that something is wrong? No, I refuse to call this vanity. But it's really a heartbreak. :( I can't even go out because people keep on staring when they realize half of my face is not moving. Bell's literally and figuratively took my smiles away. :(

A lot of people have been very kind and understanding about this (thanks everyone) but at the end of the day, the disease is still there and you can only hope it will be gone by daylight. And did I mention Bell's palsy afflicts 1 out of 5,000 people??

I miss work, I miss laughing, I miss eating without having to worry about dropping the food. I miss myself.

I've visited various sites about Bell's palsy (thanks google) and I figured it was caused by stress, flu or the herpes simplex virus, which I had when I was in highschool. There were encouraging stories: some recovered after 12 days, some in a month *even without therapy, but some suffered for years! Some tried acupuncture and got well, some had b12 shots (I might try this soon).

I will get my EMG results tomorrow and they will tell me how great my chances for recovery are. I will also have my third therapy and I will endure the pain (imagine the feeling of having bruises and yet they will still massage your face) because I want to get better!!!

I WILL GET BETTER!!! AND I WILL DO IT BEFORE THE FOURTH WEEK OF JULY!!!

(Ok, writing is therapeutic.)

First therapy day

I had my first therapy for Bell’s palsy today and the doctors said I would hopefully recover in two to three weeks And I believe so! With all the uplifting messages and heartwarming promises of prayers I’ve been getting, who wouldn’t get well?

For today, I had infrared heat to help proper blood circulation. Then they had to electrocute the right side of my face. It was quite painful (it was like getting small, hard punches in my cheeks) but I didn’t mind. I want to get better the soonest possible!

Nixlove and Mommy were waiting outside the PT room at Medical City and seeing them in that situation was amazing. It felt like I was going to give birth! haha Too bad I have two people reminding me to eat this fruit, this vegetable. Nyeee. :p

I’m still under medication but there have been some improvements. Though I still can’t control the right side of my face, small facial muscles have been moving involuntarily and that means they’re now on the verge of waking up. hehe

Again, thanks everyone! And relax!

Half numb

Good news and bad news, which one do you want to know first?

Anyway, I'll be sharing the good news first and that is my name's inclusion in the Philippine Daily Inquirer editorial last Monday. It was a short sentence that had my name on it and it actually made my day. :) It wasn't something grand but it was something I could be proud of as a journalist, right? Lawyer Romel Bagares and my boss JV Rufino informed me about it.

"It is perhaps not coincidental that the details of Laigo’s decision remain a mystery to most of the complainants. As one of them, columnist and blogger Ellen Tordesillas, pointed out yesterday, they have not yet received a copy of the June 20 decision. Neither have their lawyers. If Inquirer.net reporter Thea Alberto had not broken the story last week, would we even be talking about this ruling now? Considering the original circumstances behind the filing of the complaint, and in fact alleged in it, the curious circumstances behind the release of the decision make it immediately suspect."

See the full editorial here: A crime to cover

Now the bad news.

I've been diagnosed (on second thought, diagnosed seems too serious a term). I have Bell's palsy, a paralysis of the facial nerve resulting in inability to control facial muscles on the affected side. Half of my face is not moving, and I look like I suffered a mild stroke. I can't smile, and I can't even fully close my right eye. And it's irritating. You can slap my right cheek and I won't feel a thing.

I just finished a series of check-up at Medical City yesterday and it really took my energy. From seeing a physician (good thing Nixlove was there to hold my hand), I was then referred to a neurologist, then to a physical therapist. They all believe I have 80-90 percent chances of recovery, which is VERY GOOD!
I have to undergo at least six PT sessions (including one where they have to electrocute the right side of my face) and I am now taking several types of medicine, including an eyedrop to prevent my eyes from getting dry (my right eye can't fully close, so I look scary when I'm sleeping, haha)

I can't even eat right because my mouth keep twitching to the unaffected side and I can't drink well because the water keeps coming out :(

I hope to get better really soon. Our fourth anniversary is three weeks away and I have to attend my sister-in-law's (tee hee) wedding this August.

Anyway, I had to blog to keep family and friends updated. Thanks a lot for the prayers and messages. They really mean a lot. :)

You guys better take vitamins! Especially vitamin B! :)